Stewie's Interviews
Harrison Ford
Stewie:
Who does
the creator of “www.quagscorner.com”
think he is? Seriously, he makes me interview the crappiest
people ever! What the bloody hell is his problem? I mean,
c’mon, I’m interviewing Harrison Ford for God sakes.
Couldn’t he have got Boy George, Little Richard, Richard
Simmons, or Robin Williams on?
Harrison Ford:
Hi Stewie! I’m glad to hear that you want me on the show.
Did you see that? That was sarcasm! Isn’t that just great!
Oh by the way, Robin Williams isn’t gay.
Stewie: How dare
you gainsay me? I don’t want to spend the whole interview,
yelling at you!
Harrison Ford:
Okay. Ask me a question. Shoot. Go ahead. I’m waiting…
Stewie: You are
62 years old, correct?
Harrison Ford:
Correctumundo! See that? I’m hip!
Stewie: Anyway,
you are 62 bloody years old. Why in Satan’s name are you
still doing action movies? I mean, shouldn’t you be dead?
Harrison Ford:
They told me you could be a handful. Ha-ha.
Stewie: You know
what? Stalin must be rolling over in his grave right now!
And I don’t give a damn if that offends anybody! All I said
was “Stalin.” Get over it!
Harrison Ford:
When you said “Stalin must be rolling over in his grave
right now,” I just have to say one thing. That was a
terrible simile.
Stewie: Ha! How
‘bout this one? Harrison Ford has the same kind of
personality as the dad from the Brady Bunch. Now, to get
back on topic. Why does an old man do action movies?
Harrison Ford:
For the rush!
Stewie:
Well
quit doing action movies! For God’s sake! If I wanted
to see an old man doing an action movie, I’d videotape
myself, pushing my grandpa down a flight of stairs! That
gives ma an idea…
Harrison Ford:
You could be a stand up comedian! You could, seriously.
Stewie: Carrot
Top told me that once… Then I beat him, because that coming
from him, is a complete insult.
Harrison Ford:
That is exactly my point. You are hilarious!
Stewie: Really?
Let’s uh… Let’s get together some time.
Harrison Ford:
I
don’t swing that way… Did you get that reference? I’m nasty!
Stewie: What…
What?.. I don’t get the reference… Oh, you are a vile
disgusting piece of crap!
Harrison Ford:
Do you remember that movie I was in?
Stewie: Yes I
do… Of course I don’t you complete drag on society! Which
movie?
Harrison Ford:
Six Days, Seven Nights.
Stewie: After I
heard the ghastly reviews, of your god awful acting, I
decided not to go. I did rent it though. What a waste of two
bucks that was. I could have bought a rattle to wallop Lois
with.
Harrison Ford:
Oh Stewie. You haven’t changed one bit!
Stewie: This is
the first time I’ve met you! God, you are an idiot! And so
are you Harrison!
Harrison Ford:
How did you like my Indiana Jones movies?
Stewie: They
were great! So much violence and so much action at the same
time! You could have put in more blood thought. Yes blood…
Harrison Ford:
I
told the director the same thing. Unfortunately, the
director said that the only way we could make more blood,
was if there was a scene where somebody kicked my in the
crotch, and after I peed out blood. I could have done it,
but decided not to.
Stewie:
That was
a great idea! Well, this concludes my interview with the old
man. This is Stewie sayings “Put that in your pipe and smoke
it, because there is some lethal stuff in it!” Bye, bye!
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