Stewie: Hello everyone! I’m back. My crappy interviews were cancelled for awhile, but it is back. It kind of reminds me of Punk’d. You know, it was alright at first, but then it turned to God awful possessions that you might find in my diaper. Punk’d is the only show that has ever came back from the dead. Well, besides The Jetsons. But that has never, ever happened to anyone else. Maybe Punk’d come back due to DVD ratings? Oh well. Anyway, today I’m interviewing the celebrity, Jerry Springer.

Jerry Seinfeld: I’m Jerry Seinfeld. That reminds me, do you ever notice when people mix up your name with someone else? What’s up with that?

Stewie: Indeed. You know, it is your delightful routine that brings hilarity to millions. You had the show “Seinfeld” right?

Jerry Seinfeld: Yes, I did. I had a great time on that show.

Stewie: I love Kramer and that corpulent drag on society who was played by Jason Alexander. And then you would come in and be like, “Do you ever notice?” You are hysterical! Your career must be going great. I mean, you’ve been on “Celebrities Uncensored,” how many numbers of times.

Jerry Seinfeld: Right now I’m doing stand-up. Yeah, I’m doing a lot of stand-up. You never notice when you’re doing stand-up when…

Stewie: Why in the fiery pits of Hell, would I do stand-up? Do I look like I could do stand-up? Seriously? Do I look like I could do stand-up?

Jerry Seinfeld: Actually, you could do stand-up.

Stewie: Oh God, really? That compliment has strangely satisfied me in the most awkward sort of way. Wait a minute… Were you mocking me?!? Because I swear on the grave of Mr. Weed, if you’re mocking me, you will suffer a terrible… Routine. I will say “Boo!” the whole time.

Jerry Seinfeld: No, I’m telling the truth. You never notice when you tell the truth, but people think you’re lying and they say something like “You’re lip moved, that means you’re smiling.” What’s up with that?

Stewie: Did you ever notice when fifty year old comedians don’t shut the hell up?

Jerry Seinfeld: Yeah… Yeah… Don’t you hate that?

Stewie: So how’s your career going?

Jerry Seinfeld: I’m doing a lot of stand-up nowadays.

Stewie: Well that would almost certainly be because, um lets see, oh yes, you’re a comedian you ignorant fool. I meant, have you been on any shows or movies lately?

Jerry Seinfeld: As you said before I’m on Celebrities Uncensored a lot, but besides that, I’ve done nothing.

Stewie: You haven’t done anything? You sluggish personality! What? You turn fifty and all of a sudden you start being lazy and start sucking at everything you do… But there is a cure for those symptoms. All you have to use is… VIAGRA! Psss, they paid me five hundred dollars to advertise.

Jerry Seinfeld: And what’s the deal with Viagra? I mean, you take it and then suddenly…

Stewie: That’s enough, thank you. So are you thinking about doing anything new with entertainment?

Jerry Seinfeld: Well, I’ve been offered to be the spokesman for Coke, but I think Tim Allan already took that. 

Stewie: Now that was hilarious! What a great reference.

Jerry Seinfeld: Joke?

Stewie: Well, I suppose I better end this interview, so I can you know, get out of your site. Well, this is Stewie saying, “Just like Jerry Seinfeld’s career, you’re going to die and suffer.”