Stewie: Tonight I am interviewing a man named Elton John. How are you Elton?

Elton John: I’m doing pretty well Stewie. How are you doing?

Stewie: What the hell? How dare you ask how I’m doing! I am interviewing you, Sherlock.

Elton: Sorry Stewie. I didn’t mean to upset you.

Stewie: I bet you didn’t. Now, um, tell me the truth. Were you thinking of me when you wrote Crocodile Rock?

Elton: I don’t really understand the question.

 Stewie: With a physique like that you don’t have to comprehend a thing. And why do you wear those ridiculous sunglasses? They cover up your gorgeous eyes.

Elton: I guess the glasses are just my thing.

Stewie: I have a thing too, a thing for you.

Elton: Stewie, in the immortal words of you “Who the hell, do you think you are?”

Stewie: What the hell came over me? Somebody get a picture of Halle Berry and show it to me quick!

Stewie’s secretary: Monster Ball or X-Men?

Stewie: Die Another Day you incompetent creature. Wait a minute do you see Halle Berry naked in Monsters Ball?

Elton: Eww. That’s gross.

Stewie’s secretary: Yeah, but you see her naked in Swordfish too. She’s hot in that movie.

Stewie’s secretary walks into the room and shows Stewie a picture of Halle Berry. Stewie’s secretary then walks away.

Stewie: For a second there I was almost attracted to men. I was attracted to hot men.

Stewie: You’ve won a few Grammy’s in your career right?

Elton: Yes.

Stewie: You think they gave you the Grammy’s because they didn’t want you to think that they were prejudice against gay people?

Elton: No, I worked very hard on my songs.

Stewie: Oh yes, Candle in the Wind must have been very difficult to write. Too bad you never take time to take singing lessons.

Elton: Actually, I’ve taken several lessons.

Stewie:  Anyway, you performed with Eminem, right? I have to get him on the show! Eminem and I have so much in common.

Elton: Yes, I did a duet with him.

Stewie: Were you surprised that he didn’t shoot you.

Elton: No, Eminem isn’t my favorite person in the world, but I don’t think he would shoot me.

Stewie: I would shoot you right now if I had a gun.

Elton: You need a spanking.

Stewie: I agree. Well, this concludes my interview with a gay guy. This is Stewie saying “See you in Hell, unless I gouge your eyes out before you die!”